Islamic Republic of Gaza launches offensive, aquires WMD

The Islamic Republic of Gaza launched a deadly attack against Israel today, killing two IDF soldiers and kidnapping a third in the process. It is believed the kidnapped soldier is alive, and it is widely feared he will suffer a death far more ghastly than the two IDF soldiers who were shot by the jihadis.

According to multiple reports from the Jerusalem Post, Arutz Sheva News, Ynet News, and many others, the moslems who carried out the operation passed through a secret tunnel they built following the expulsion of the Jews from Gaza, shot and killed two IDF troops near the border, kidnapped a third, blew a hole in the border fence, and escaped back into the friendly confines of Islamic Gaza without being caught by Israeli troops.

In response to this attack, Ehud Olmert has announced that there will be no immediate military response by Israel, though he has not entirely ruled out the possiblility that some kind of action could be taken in the future. It is believed Olmert doesn't want to do anything to anger Al Aqsa Martyrs Brigade leader Mahmoud Abbas before their scheduled meetings next month. At those meetings, Olmert intends to present Abbas with his plans to retreat from Judea and Samaria, expel over 75,000 Jews from their homes, renounce the Jewish people's eternal inheritance rights to the Land by handing it over to islam, divide Jerusalem in two, giving half entirely to Islam while designating the rest equally for both moslems and Jews within the boundaries of bi-national Israel, and offer continued aid to the needy moslems after the enemy Jews have been forcibly deported and left homeless and hungry.

Shortly after launching the successful operation against backpeddling Israel, the Islamic Republic of Gaza announced they have now aquired biological and chemical weapons of mass destruction, and intend to use them against the Jews by adding them to the Qassam rockets they launch daily into the Israeli city of Sderot. In addition, they have threatened to use these weapons en masse should Israel think about using any military force against them in Gaza.

But, let's all remember that a few more "good will gestures" and Olmert says he will have those "Palestinians" right where he wants them. I know I certainly find Neville Olmert's strategy comforting - how about you?

-MZ